So what

I've gained all my weight back. I've been dieting from 8am til noon everyday. At noon, I begin the binge of forbidden food. Not intentionally of course, that would just be silly. I'm usually kinda stressed and starving around noon and my attitude has always been, "Why do I have to be hungry on top of everything else I have to do?" Followed by the attitude, "I can't believe you just ate that ya big fat loser!" Anyway, I'm changing my attitude today.

I'm tired of dieting and failing. I'm putting my scale away. I'm going to recommit to the gym. I've been going 3 times a week and hating it, but I'm going to change my attitude from going there to lose weight but going there to be my fittest. I'm going to stop forbidding food. I'm going to eat what I want. I intend to keep a food journal. I'm going to concentrate on adding vegetables to my day, not as a punishment or a deprivation but as an addition to the foods I like. I'm going to control portions. I won't feel like I need to binge on my favorites because they are no longer forbidden. I am going to stop hating myself and start accepting myself. I am not a failure because I am gaining weight. I've been going through some tough things and found comfort in food. But I've begun to face them and refuse to feel sorry for myself. I have too many blessings to dwell on my struggles. I'm not saying my struggles are insignificant, I just believe that they are mountains I'm in the process of moving!

Posts I'm thinking about doing soon:
Kiss Me Dirty
How I became Tongan
Funny things Amanda says
Who I put my Panties on for