things that make me uncomfortable...

1. when people wink at me.

There's this girl at church that always smiles and winks at me when we make eye contact.  What does that mean?  Do we have a shared secret that I'm not aware of?  Should I conspiratorially wink back?  There's another girl that I used to work with that would wink all the time too.  It's so cute when other people do it.  Whenever I try, it comes across as mentally challenged, drawing the corner of my mouth towards my winking eye in a half smile that can only be completed with some shooting gun fingers...pew, pew!

2. when teenagers at fast food restaurants call me hon.

I'm trying to think of people I call hon.  Maybe Jaxson or Takai, maybe my husband, other than that pretty much nobody. 

Oh I'm paying you for my filet o fish and you want to say thanks hon?  Well, you're welcome cutie butt.  You're welcome little princess.  You're sooooooooo welcome pooky poo.

3. hugging friends husbands

Oh my gosh, this one kills me!  I'm not a hugger to begin with but some of my friends are.  So say we go on a double date and my friend hugs me good bye, then she hugs Mike.  Now I'm obligated to hug her husband?  This causes me all kinds of anxiety.  What if I'm not sure if she's going to hug Mike or not do I shake her husbands hand?  Do I search in my purse for some phantom chap stick?  Oh my gosh, why am I so socially awkward??!!

Lesson learned

Oh my gosh, so I've been teaching Primary with Mike as my partner.  But as you know, he's gone 3 weeks of the month and my class can be a little overwhelming.  So, I finally asked the primary presidency for some help because I was getting really resentful.  So, lo and behold, January rolls around and they've assigned me to a new class with a new partner.  I didn't even know about the new partner until my very good and very pretty friend, Camille, asked me how I felt about it.

I could not even believe it!  They set me up with a Sister that I can not stand!  She always looks at me with judgy squinty eyes.  I could not even imagine what I had to look forward to.  Now, I'm going to have to prepare a lesson every other week to present to 10 four year olds and one judgy squinty Sister.  Well, at least I didn't have to do a lesson every single week any more.

So right before our first Sunday together she totally calls me up and leaves me this message about how excited she was to be my partner blah, blah. PLEASE!  Give me a BREAK!

Here's where I learned my lesson.  She came up to me on Sunday and told me she had been released from being my partner and was in the primary presidency now.  I was actually really sad.  She turned out to be really nice and funny.  I think she just has bad vision (hence the squinty eyes).  And it's funny because I always tell my daughters to not take offense just by someone's facial expression.  You never know what's in their head.  Maybe, they're day dreaming, maybe they're fuming, maybe they're trying to focus because they refuse to wear contacts.  I've spent a lot of time at church being bugged by people, thinking that they were better than me and judging me.  I've spent a lot of time at social gatherings thinking that people were looking at my shoes and wondering if I'm a janitor.  I've spent a lot of money on fake nails so people will stop judging my dirty finger nails.  I'm seriously considering getting fake eye lashes because mine are so pathetic.  But honestly, do you care or even notice my shoes, my nails, my eye lashes?  I want to stop obsessing about shallow selfish things and start venturing out and meeting people instead of always assuming that I'm not worthy of true friendship.