I have 17 days to lose 17 pounds.

I lost a pound but that doesn't give me any satisfaction because I'm still up one pound. I'm starting to think Mike might be right and I should stop weighing myself everyday. The scale is breaking my heart! Maybe if I just weighed in once a week like Mike says I would be more satisfied. I feel like I need to weigh in every morning to guage if I need to step up my efforts but yesterday I only ate 1000 calories and I worked extra hard at the gym and I feel like I should see bigger results. Don't think I'm starving myself either because I'm not. I'm making very careful choices of what I should eat. I wasn't even hungry last night. Ok, I'll admit that I was starving when I got home from work and I was seriously considering getting a chile relleno from Ixtapa but I didn't. I just chugged down that fiber drink and then I was ok. And this morning I was thinking I would take the day off because I won't have time to go to the gym so why not just grab a breakfast burrito too, but I didn't. My brain/stomach is still trying to fight me on this but I'm not giving in.

So let me know what you think, should I have Mike hide the scale and only weigh in once a week or should I continue to guage my efforts according to the scale?

Well, I guess I gained 2 pounds. Weekends are sooooo hard for me. I seriously tried hard this weekend too. I tried to be creative with dinner last night. I had a bowl of 100 calorie popcorn, a string cheese, half a banana, an apple and an orange. I thought that was all healthy stuff but whatever! Oh yeah I ate all that before 7:00 too so again I say, WHATEVER!! I feel great, I'm always having to pull my pants up. I'm not going to let it get me down. On the days I don't lose weight I do 241 steps on the stair climber in addition to the 2 miles I walk/run/hobble. Hopefully it will be the little push I need to keep the scale moving.

By the way, has anyone ever noticed how when you try to eat more healthy you find you have broccoli in your teeth more often?

Yay! I lost 2 more pounds! I'm really believing that I can reach my goal of 210 by Valentines Day!

1/20/10

Week 2 picture 2 A little less gross but I feel good on the inside.

1/13/10

Ok this is painful but for the sake of journaling this is me on January 13, 2010. Gross!

Jan

Yay! I've lost ten pounds! Sure, I've lost ten pounds a million times before but this time is different. Usually I can lose ten pounds in a week with no exercise, just strict, extreme dieting. This time I've been dieting but in a more healthy way I guess and not so extreme. It's also taken me two weeks to lose this ten pounds so I'm hoping that the difference is I've actually lost some weight and not just all water or whatever. Also, all the times I've lost the ten pounds, that's where I've stopped I could never stick to it to lose more than that. So this is like a mile stone for me...

January 20, 2009

Sunday ~ bbq'd chicken, salad, mashed potatoes, corn and a roll ~ went to the gym in the morning ~ gained 3 pounds

Monday ~ 1/2 a navajo taco, 1/2 a piece of birthday cake, pink lemonade ~ no gym ~ no weight gain

Tuesday ~ an orange and a couple bites of cottage cheese ~ did all my weight exercises and walked 3 miles at the gym ~ lost 3 pounds

Wednesday ~ got up at 5am and went to the gym. If you want to fall asleep on the treadmill you're not working hard enough!

I went to the gym today. I think I got sweat to come out of my eyelids.

Lost 2 pounds! Woot woot! How do ya like me now? Ya big dumb scale Booya!!!

Up another pound :( . That's ok I had time to go to the gym this morning and I'm going to carry all 8 of those 40 pound bags of salt down to the basement myself tonight. I was going to wait and let Mat do it! :) but when I was loading them in the back of the Trailblazer I decided that I could definately count that as my second work out. It's time to up the ante and get that damn scale moving the other way. Oh, here is my pearl of wisdom for the day. When you make yourself a fiber drink you need to drink it right away or you'll be chewing it...

SO IRRITATED TODAY! I GAINED A POUND. I TRIED SO HARD YESTERDAY AND I'M SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW! I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY ANGRY. I'm not going to let it discourage me though. Things I cheated on yesterday: I put cheese and bacon bits on my salad, I put cheese on my sandwich, I didn't go to the gym. Things I did awesome at yesterday: I drank 48 oz of water (which is about twice as much as I usually do), no french fries, no soda, I knew it was going to be a late night so I made myself a sandwich at 6 and then didn't eat again the whole rest of the night. So no more cheese for me I guess. I'm not going to let this get me down.

Well, I survived the weekend. Weekends are super hard for me. Amanda and I drove in to Salt Lake on Saturday to get Mikes birthday present and usually on trips like that we stop and get dinner but we took a bag of apple and orange slices instead. I know, gay, but it kept me from stopping for food. And Sunday I had the munchies so bad!!!! I was so worried this morning when I got on the scale but I've lost 4 pounds so far! The reason why I added the picture of my hooker boots is because when I first got them I had to lay on the bed while Mike squeezed the zipper together with one hand and zipped with the other. I couldn't zip them up by myself because they were too tight. I was always so afraid Mike would catch a piece of my chubby leg in the zipper but he never did. I'm happy to say I can zip them up all by myself now. And even though I've only lost 4 pounds I'm in a smaller pants now too. Yay! I hated those damn size 22's they were 2 big but anything else was too small. I'm thinking I'll make purses and backpacks for everyone out of my old jeans. I'll have to get Amanda to find her bedazzler!

It's on!

Finally! I weighed in last night at 246 at Golds Gym. I felt so sexy in my sports bra and shorts, with my glaring white legs. I'm thinking I might get a tan for my "after" picture. For the next 12 weeks I am determined to win this competition. I was definately the chubbiest chick in line but there were some guys there too. That makes me a little nervous but I'm counting on my determination and stubborness to be stronger than theirs.

I went to bed and drank my fiber drink. Yum yum. I think the first time I put in too much water because last night was definately better. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning but I am determined so I put on my shoes and took Stella for a walk. We didn't walk very far. I'll have to measure it out in my car. We just walked for about 20 minutes. In that short amount of time Stella taunted me by running backwards in front of me. I think I heard her laughing at me. She also chewed through her leash and busted it so that was a nice rest for my arm from being pulled by her. She's a good walking buddy!

I ate my oatmeal and eggwhites for breakfast. (well I left one of the yolks in, is that forgiveable?) It was surprisingly good. But right now I'm hungry so I keep drinking water hoping it will keep me full. I panic when I'm hungry...

Oh the reason I titled this "marshmallow" because that's how I've been describing myself for a while. I'm soft and really white and sweet. I haven't thought of what I want to be but I know I don't want to be a marshmallow any more. What is something golden and strong and still sweet but not marshmallow sweet?